Hi Reader,

We recently had Jim Lose on the Gentle Power Podcast (YouTube | Spotify | Apple). Jim is a former Marine Corps officer and CEO of The Military Veteran, a recruiting firm that places veteran executives into high-growth, venture-funded and private equity-backed companies.

Jim spent the early part of his career as a battalion intelligence officer and built extensive experience working with senior military leadership, including leading regular briefings to the Commandant of the Marine Corps when he was assigned to the Pentagon. He's since spent 20+ years placing thousands of veterans into corporate roles, from junior officers transitioning into the private sector to senior military leaders filling executive and c-suite positions.

What we wanted to dig into: what does someone like Jim who sits between the candidate and the company actually see? And what can someone with a military or non-traditional background learn about advocating for themselves when it's time to make a career move?

Listen to the full episode here (YouTube | Spotify | Apple), and a few ideas from the conversation that stuck with us.

Quick PSA: free Q&A next week

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We're hosting a free negotiations Q&A next Tuesday, April 21st at 12pm PT / 3pm ET! We’ll be on the call live and answer all your negotiation questions and provide real-time feedback on anything you’re facing in your job search. RSVP here, and feel free to forward this to anyone who you know is job searching: https://luma.com/event/evt-PCyqPqGFyrGMsZT​

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1. The military trains you out of self-advocacy

Jim touched on something we've seen with almost every veteran client we've worked with.

"From the very beginning as a second lieutenant, you pass on the praise to your subordinates and highlight their achievements, not your own."

This is a key cultural feature of the military, one that strongly emphasizes teamwork over individual achievement. One of the core values of the military is literally “Service Before Self.” in a job offer conversation, all of this works against you.

Alex knows this firsthand. He served in the Air Force as a military parachuting instructor, and when he transitioned into the private sector, Gerta had to coach him through the part where you actually ask for more. The instinct was just to accept the offer and move on. That's how the military works. You're told what you're paid.

When those habits follow veterans into corporate America, they tend to undersell themselves.

2. The salary question has a different dynamic in the military

Jim pointed something out that hadn't occurred to us until he said it.

Veterans talk about money with each other pretty openly. Everyone on base knows what everyone else earns because it's based on rank and time in service. It's public information.

That transparency disappears in the private sector. Salaries become private, comparative, and often deliberately obscured. Veterans step into that environment without the instincts you build when pay is something you've had to figure out and negotiate throughout your career.

For veterans, it’s more difficult to communicate their worth because they've never had to price themselves.

3. Interview widely before getting selective

One thing Jim coaches transitioning veterans on is to resist the urge to filter aggressively at the start of the process.

His reasoning: let’s say you get three offers that are all in a tight range, then the market has just told you something real about what it values you at. You can't learn that by sitting on the sidelines waiting for your dream role.

Get the activity going first. Then get selective when the offers are actually in front of you.

Smart advice for anyone changing industries, not just veterans.

4. The recruiter is not fully on your side, and that's fine to know

Job seekers working with a third-party recruiter will often assume that person will go fully to the mat for them on compensation.

Jim was direct: his core value is relationships over revenue, and he does coach his clients through negotiations. But he also made the point that it's harder for a company to say no to the candidate than to the recruiter in the middle like Jim. The candidate is someone the company has had extensive rounds of interviews with, had meals with during the recruiting process, maybe even met their spouse! There's rapport.

"I will usually have my clients negotiate their offers themselves."

That's the right call. A good recruiter sets you up and then gets out of the way. But there's also a subtler thing to be aware of: questions like "how would you feel if this offer evaporated?" are not casual. They're diagnostic. How you answer shapes how the recruiter coaches the company.

If you say you'd be devastated, the negotiation goes one way. Know what you're signaling to your third-party recruiter before you answer.

5. Lead with facts, not feelings

Jim's approach to coaching candidates through an offer conversation is simple. Leave the emotions out of it.

Approach it like an attorney making a case in court: here are the facts, here’s the market, here’s the evidence for the number I'm asking for. That's the frame.

Buying a house can be emotional. Structurally, it's an asset transaction. Comp negotiations are the same. The moment you let the anxiety show, you're risking forfeiting leverage.

6. Where you start compounds for years

Jim helped a client negotiate recently. The increase wasn't massive, but he walked us through the math.

Even an additional $15K in base salary, assuming no raises, is $75K over five years. And there will be raises. And the next offer you get will anchor off this one.

We say this often: not negotiating today doesn't just affect today. It sets a baseline that compounds across your entire career. The gap between what you accepted and what was available grows wider the longer you carry it.

7. Gentle power works in both directions

Jim told us about a candidate mentioning another competing opportunity to a company. The candidate told the company: “I have another option moving forward, so my availability shifts after next week.”

It changes the dynamic without burning anything, especially when communicated politely and professionally. As Jim put it, "It gives a way to get more without turning everybody off."

That's exactly the principle behind the name of this podcast. The goal isn't to extract the maximum at any cost. It's to move the conversation toward a better outcome while keeping the relationship intact. Because when you accept the offer, you’ll be working with them every day.

Listen to the full episode here: YouTube | Spotify | Apple​

Connect with Jim Lose on LinkedIn, and learn more about this work here: https://www.themilvet.org​

Have a great weekend,

Gerta & Alex​
​Founders, YourNegotiations.com

P.S. Are you job searching or have upcoming negotiations?

Book a free call with us, where we’ll learn more about your situation, offer some free tips, and explore if we’re a good fit to work together: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call​

P.P.S. Know someone interested in negotiations?

Send them our way and we’ll thank you with $250 for each person who becomes a client. No cap.

A quick intro or an email to alex@yournegotiations.com works.