A recruiter on how much to reveal about competing offers


Hi Reader,

More from our Gentle Power Podcast conversation with Mia Smithson, a renowned tech industry recruiter who's interviewed more than 5000 people and hired more than 400. She shared some of her top tips in this past newsletter, where we covered why salary market data isn't helpful for negotiations and why whoever says the number first loses the negotiation.

Today, we want to cover another question we always get: When the recruiter wants details about your other offer, how much should you actually tell them?

We've written about this before and our position hasn't changed: don't tell them details of your other offers by staying general and vague. Mia agreed, and here's why from her perspective as someone sitting on the employer's side.

If you want to hear all the negotiation strategies we covered with Mia, watch/listen to the full episode here: YouTube | Spotify | Apple

Why sharing details about your other offers will hurt you

Let's say you're applying to a gov tech or healthcare startup, and you tell them that you also received an offer from OpenAI. You might think this is a strong negotiation move by showing how competitive you are in the market, but it's important to keep in mind how the small startup will interpret it. They know that OpenAI pays top of market, so they won't even try to give you a better offer since it will probably fall far short of your other option. In Mia's words: "we're not even going to try to play that game."

We once had a client who had an offer from a small healthtech startup and another from TikTok, and he was excited to tell each of them about the other. We told him to hold. TikTok would've known it was already ahead, and the small startup would have assumed the gap was hundreds of thousands of dollars and given up.

Instead, say you've got another offer and stop there. As Mia put it, "now all of a sudden it makes them look like, 'ooh I got other options... I'm the hot girl at the dance.'"

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2. What you can safely share

This was Mia's POV: you can safely share industry, the stage of the company ("maybe it's a Series C startup"), and a rough comp range.

A workable answer sounds like this:

"I do have another offer in hand. It's a Series C company in fintech, and the package is in the range we've been discussing. I'd rather not get more specific than that, but I wanted you to have the context."

That gives the recruiter something real to bring back to their team while keeping the details that could hurt you out of the room.

Here’s where we at YourNegotiations.com believe you should be even more careful and not even share industry, stage, and definitely not comp range. Even AI labs vs traditional big tech makes a difference nowadays. You don’t want OpenAI to think you’re going to Google Gemini rather than Anthropic because it will make a huge difference in how much they increase their offer.

3. When naming the company CAN HELP you

It comes down to whether the other company is a threat this company believes it can beat.

M"If you're interviewing with OpenAI and you have another offer from Anthropic, I would literally just say Anthropic," Mia said. "Because then they're motivated and say, 'we will beat them.'"

Peer companies compete for the same people and hate losing to each other, so naming the direct rival could give them a reason to move.

4. Be more careful with agency recruiters

If you're working with an external or staffing recruiter, be even more careful with what you share. Mia said staffing recruiters may not have the same strategic priorities as you, and may pass a detail straight along to the client (i.e. the company you're interviewing with) without thinking about what it does to your leverage.

Closing

For the full details on this topic we covered with Mia, listen to the full episode here: YouTube | Spotify | Apple

Connect with Mia:


Have a great weekend,

Gerta & Alex

Founders, YourNegotiations.com

P.S. Are you job searching or have upcoming negotiations?

If you have an offer coming or are mid-process, we’re always happy to help you think through how to approach it. Book a free call here: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call

P.P.S. Know someone interested in negotiations?

Send them our way and we’ll thank you with $250 for each person who becomes a client. No cap.

A quick intro or an email to alex@yournegotiations.com works.

Hi, we’re Gerta & Alex.
We're the founders of YourNegotiations.com, where we help executives, mid-career professionals, founders, and companies secure the best possible job offers and business deals.
Alums of: Harvard, MIT, Wharton | Previously: LinkedIn, Meta, Salary.com, US Air Force

Have an upcoming negotiation? Book a call with Alex
here!

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Gerta & Alex are the founders of YourNegotiations.com, where they help executives and mid-career professionals negotiate job offers and business deals. Their backgrounds span tech (LinkedIn, Meta / Instagram, Salary.com), biotech (Sanofi), the US Air Force, venture capital, and building venture-backed companies. They're Harvard, MIT, and Wharton alums and have helped hundreds of clients add on average $100K and up to $1.7M to their compensation packages.

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