Hey friends, Alex here! Sharing a personal story of a time I turned down a job offer, and interestingly, the company wanted me even more.

I think the way that I rejected them was key. I hope reading about my approach is useful in your own job search journey.

And I brought receipts: also including below the screenshots of the actual email exchanges I had with the company. Feel free to steal :)

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Company EarlyYes vs Company FinalYes

When I was applying to jobs before Gerta and I started YourNegotiations.com, I received an offer from one of my top choices (Company EarlyYes). Inconveniently, I was also just starting the interview process with another dream company (Company FinalYes).

(I’ll refer to these companies as “EarlyYes” and “FinalYes” to protect various people’s privacy. But you almost definitely know or have heard about both these companies before).

While interviewing with FinalYes, I was able to get EarlyYes to extend their offer deadline multiple times. And of course, I negotiated and added an additional $277K on top of EarlyYes's initial offer 🙂 (may share the play-by-play on how I did that in a future newsletter).

A few weeks later, I ended up getting an offer from FinalYes too! I was now faced with the tough dilemma of having to choose between EarlyYes and FinalYes.

I’ll be honest that part of me felt pressured to accept EarlyYes’ offer because they had been so gracious to me with their multiple offer deadline extensions and throughout the negotiations, but I ultimately had to do what was best for myself and my career, and I knew in my heart that FinalYes was the better fit.

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How I turned down Company EarlyYes

And so I reached out to EarlyYes and rejected their offer. I felt bad of course, but I did a few things that helped EarlyYes not only understand my decision, but kept them wanting me long after I had rejected them:

1️⃣ I always showed enthusiasm in every interaction.

I was never leading on EarlyYes, as I was genuinely excited at possibly working there. But I also understood my value as a competitive candidate that multiple companies were vying for, which helped me show up as grounded and confident throughout my conversations.

2️⃣ I was polite and professional in every interaction.

"You catch more flies with honey." If you're respectful and nice in all your communications, people will typically be more flexible, collaborative, and willing to work with you. You can never go wrong with showing respect.

3️⃣ I rejected them with gratitude, grace, and value.

One of my favorite thought leaders, Scott Galloway, often says that "people will always remember how you leave a job." I think this same principle applies when you reject a job.

When I turned down EarlyYes, I sent thoughtful emails to the recruiter, hiring manager, the VP, and their well-known founder and CEO (who even called me personally to convince me to join) explaining my decision. I did a few key things in these emails:

✅ Again, I showed lots of gratitude
✅ I spoke highly of everyone in the process (it reflects well on you when you make others look good)
✅ I offered value (I sent EarlyYes multiple referrals, and some even got hired!)

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Company EarlyYes kept coming back for more

How did this all turn out? Much later down the road after I left FinalYes, EarlyYes' VP reached out to me immediately and expressed interest in hiring me!

The job search is a grind, and you may be tempted to just treat everything as routine. But by putting in a little bit more effort than the status quo, you can turn rejections today into opportunities tomorrow.

Best,

Alex
​Co-founder, YourNegotiations.com

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