Hi Reader,

This is Part II of our Gentle Power Podcast episode with the Latvian wunderkind, Annija Eizenarma. (for part I, see our recent newsletter here!)

Quick recap: Annija started her first business at 15 at a small school in the Latvian countryside, and from the age of 17 spent the next six years building a smart home company that was eventually acquired by one of Europe’s leading manufacturers in the building automation industry.

We were impressed with how Annija proactively negotiated every step of her career. Nobody showed up with a golden opportunity, so she asked for each one, usually before she had the credentials (but no shortage of hard work) to justify asking.

Here are the remaining takeaways from our conversation, plus links to the full episode: YouTube | Spotify | Apple​

1. “Givers gain” (but you have to make the ask)

Annija belonged to an entrepreneurs organization in Latvia that regularly met at 6:30am every week. At the start of each meeting, every member was required to give a 30-second pitch: who you are, one thing you can offer to help others in the group, and one ask you had from anyone in the group, sometimes as specific as the name of a person you're trying to reach.

This was essentially business bootcamp, where you wake up at the crack of dawn and practice pitching yourself and sharing what you can offer and what you're looking for support on, again and again, to the same group of people.

This is also where she learned firsthand that “givers gain”. If you consistently give value without expectation of receiving anything in return, you'll eventually gain. But with a caveat.

Annija sometimes saw this go wrong in several ways. Some people gave until they were exhausted and never asked for anything. Others asked before they'd given anyone a reason to help. The lesson she took away was to wait until she felt that she had reached a point of naturally emanating value to others. “I never ask for something too early, because I think it kills trust.”

Keep this principle in mind whenever you're doing any intro calls or coffee chats. You can come with an ask, but also be clear on what value you can offer.

Note: this is a sponsored newsletter. If you check them out below, it means a lot to us and helps keep our newsletter going!

2. When someone gets protective, find out what they're protecting

When Annija and her firm was exploring the acquisition of a parking automation company, she noticed that the founder of the company seemed irritated anytime they met to discuss the potential acquisition. After a number of meetings, Annija realized that the founder was really proud of the company he had built and was concerned about protecting his reputation behind relationships he'd spent years nurturing, with his customers and his long-time employees. He wanted proof that Annija wouldn't wreck it.

So moving forward, that's what Annija and her team focused on. They connected the founder to many of their own clients so he could see how they operated in a deal. Annija's hypothesis was confirmed when he agreed to stay on after closing the acquisition to ensure a smooth handover, even though he was looking forward to retiring and traveling the world.

The culture merge was its own negotiation. Annija's team consisted mostly of young, driven 20-somethings, and the company they bought was staffed by workers in their 40s and 50s, most of whom had been there for decades. After the acquisition, Annija made sure to personally meet with every person one-by-one and asked what they wanted to keep doing. Walking in and giving orders was never on the table: “we hadn't earned the right to do that.”

The relationship was completely turned around because Annija and her team did not come in swinging and giving orders, but rather took the founder's protectiveness of his workforce as an opportunity to explore what he cared about and reassured him that they would protect his interests.

Alex experienced this same dynamic in the Air Force, where, by rule, the newest officers straight out of officer training outrank the most senior enlisted personnel. The young officers who did well were the ones who treated the battle-hardened sergeants with decades of service as the experts they are. Respect and collaboration are non-negotiable in any dynamic.

3. annija's hot take: knowing what you want is feminine

We ask every guest for a hot take on power or negotiations. Annija's came out of years of being told that stating what you want makes a woman more masculine. She disagrees. “I think it's very feminine to know what you want.” As for where the commonly-held, masculine framing comes from, “I think it just comes from weak people.”

Plenty of people never ask at all, because a "no" feels like a verdict on their self-worth. Annija pointed out that kids don't operate this way. A kid hears "no" and asks why, then asks again, and draws no conclusions about their own value.

We'll add that reaching the final "no" is useful information, because it means we've neared the end of the negotiation and now know that we've claimed whatever remaining value was left on the table.

Annija's career arc is one story after another of asking for almost everything before anyone thought to offer it, then proving that she earned it. Give this episode a listen if you want to walk away inspired to aim for goals that feel out of reach! Full episode: YouTube | Spotify | Apple​

Connect with Annija: LinkedIn​

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Warmly,

Gerta & Alex

Founders, YourNegotiations.com

P.S. Are you job searching or have upcoming negotiations?

If you have an offer coming or are mid-process, we’re always happy to help you think through how to approach it. Book a free call here: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call​

P.P.S. Know someone interested in negotiations?

Send them our way and we’ll thank you with $250 for each person who becomes a client. No cap.

A quick intro or an email to alex@yournegotiations.com works.