Negotiations can feel complicated for anyone, and they often become even more nuanced when you're leading at work while carrying big responsibilities outside of your professional life, such as caring for kids or supporting family and aging parents. On this week’s episode of Gentle Power (Youtube | Spotify | Apple), we spoke with Shawna Samuel, whose consulting practice focuses on supporting executive-working mothers in demanding roles.
Shawna began her career in global finance, where she spent two decades shaping partnerships across the US and Europe. When she became a mother, the structure that had supported her career started to feel less stable. Her responsibilities grew while the available support didn’t grow with them, and she began questioning the default assumption that people should simply adapt without help. That turning point led her to create her consulting practice, The Mental Offload, where she helps clients reclaim time, influence, and steadiness in both their professional and personal lives without sacrificing career trajectory.
Below are a few takeaways from our conversation, which are applicable not just to executive-working mothers, but anyone who is career-focused while also juggling big responsibilities outside of the office.
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Position your asks around how you do your best work
When you're balancing a demanding role and a demanding life, it’s natural to assume something has to give. Many high performers lower their expectations before the negotiation even begins because they want to seem reasonable or avoid sounding like they’re asking for too much.
You might want to think, instead, about positioning the asks according to what helps you deliver your best work. Flexibility, predictable expectations, and accommodations for other areas of your life aren’t indulgences. They’re part of what strengthens your capacity and, in turn, strengthens your impact at work. When you frame a negotiation around what you need to maximize your contribution rather than treating adjustments as favors, it becomes easier for everyone to understand why these elements matter and how they support the success you’ll bring to the job.
Use silence with intention
Silence can feel uncomfortable when you’re used to filling gaps for everyone else. When negotiating, silence can be powerful. Following a request with a quiet moment demonstrates your steadiness and shows that you're grounded in what you're asking for.
It also gives you room to notice your own instincts and be more aware of what’s happening in the conversation. No need to over-explain or fill in the silence yourself. In fact, we’ve often seen the other parties fill the gap themselves and over-communicate additional details that can be useful to you. When used confidently, silence becomes a subtle way to guide the discussion without needing to push.
Practice saying no
Many people carry a lifelong habit of stretching themselves to meet the needs around them. When self-sacrifice becomes the default, saying no can feel abrupt or out of character. Shawna encourages clients to practice setting boundaries in small ways every day so the act becomes less charged (exercise: challenge yourself to say no to something at least once a day for a month, doesn’t matter how small!). Over time, saying no will feel normal instead of uncomfortable.
Tone matters too. A warm, steady delivery keeps the conversation grounded without softening your position. Shawna calls this “smiling with your voice”. Warmth can sit comfortably alongside firm boundaries, and this combination often creates a more open path to a better outcome.
Negotiating is part of everyday life for anyone juggling meaningful work and important responsibilities outside of work. Shawna’s work is a reminder that the skills you already use to excel in your job can translate into more confident and grounded negotiations. With a clearer sense of what you need and a steadier way of asking for it, negotiating will feel less overwhelming and more like a natural extension of your leadership.
Listen to the full conversation here: Youtube | Spotify | Apple
You can learn more about Shawna and her consulting service, The Mental Offload, here: Website | Spotify | Apple | LinkedIn
Best,
Gerta & Alex
Co-founders, YourNegotiations.com
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