Hi friends,

This week on the Gentle Power podcast (YouTube | Spotify | Apple), we welcomed a guest who has negotiated at a scale most of us will never experience in our lifetimes. He is a former Minister of Finance of Albania who was put in charge of rescuing the country’s economy after a financial crisis pushed it to the brink of collapse. His name is Arben Malaj, and he also happens to be Gerta’s father :)

When we visited Gerta’s family in Europe for the holidays, Arben sat down with us to talk about what power and negotiations look like when your country is in crisis and the other side seemingly holds all the cards.

A quick history lesson

Formerly Europe’s most repressive Communist state, Albania was turned loose into a capitalist Wild West after the fall of the Soviet Union. New but poorly understood financial products flooded the Albanian economy, culminating in 1996 with the collapse of massive pyramid schemes that evaporated more than 50% of the country’s GDP overnight. What followed was civil unrest, turmoil, and fear throughout the country, at which time Arben was appointed Minister of Finance and essentially “voluntold” to clean up the crisis.

A little-known technocrat in his early 30s at the time, Arben was thrust into high-stakes negotiations with numerous multilateral organizations including the EU Commission, IMF, and World Bank, all with his country’s economy on the line.

He faced a serious question for anyone in leadership: how do you negotiate when your world is on fire and you’re up against much stronger, well-resourced players?

We covered so much ground in this conversation that we’re releasing the full conversation in two parts over the next two weeks. Here are two important takeaways from the first half that really stuck with us.

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Your values are non-negotiable
​When Arben spoke about negotiation, he didn’t lead with tactics, strategy, or leverage. He led with his values: Integrity first. Sincerity second. Goodwill third.

He shared a Warren Buffett quote that captured this cleanly: “When you look for people to work with, you want integrity, intelligence, and energy. If integrity is missing, the other two will kill you.”

When it comes to negotiations, having integrity is table stakes. If you give the other side any reason to question your integrity, you’ll destroy trust and the potential to arrive at a deal.

When we help people negotiate offers, one of our most important principles is to never lie, whether about having other offers, your past compensation history (you shouldn’t share this info anyway!), or anything else.

Not only is lying not good from an ethical perspective, but practically speaking, your lies will eventually catch up to you. You’ll find it hard to keep track of what you said to whom as you move through the interview process with multiple companies, and good chance you’ll slip up at some point.

Lying will only risk your candidacy, and we have seen on numerous occasions companies rescind offers when they felt the candidate had lied or misrepresented something (this never happens with our clients, of course!).

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Self-respect first, and respect from others will follow

Alex asked Arben, “You represented Albania internationally at a time when confidence in the country was extremely low. What did you rely on as leverage against powerful negotiating counterparts like the IMF, World Bank, and EU commission?”

In classic Arben fashion, he responded with a quote, this time one by Eleanor Roosevelt: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

His example was that when up against much larger institutions, where the imbalance of power was obvious on paper, he always brought himself back to his commitment to his people. He wasn’t negotiating for himself, but on behalf of Albanians and the betterment of his country. It helped him feel and show up as rooted, steadfast, and strong, even when the other side pressed him hard or showed signs of dismissing him. Arben’s mindset also instilled a perception in the other side that they had a reliable and committed partner in Arben whom they could work with consistently.

Identifying for yourself internally who you’re negotiating for (your child, your family, your younger self) is a key tactic for getting into an effective negotiation mindset. We wrote in depth about this in a past newsletter: These 4 mindset shifts can add 5-6 figures to your job offer​

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Bottom line: 1) Integrity determines how willingly others work with you, and 2) Self respect shapes how you’re treated.

See you all next week for part two!

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Best,

Gerta & Alex
​Co-founders, YourNegotiations.com

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P.S. Are you job searching or have upcoming negotiations?

Book a free call with us, where we’ll learn more about your situation, offer some free tips, and explore if we’re a good fit to work together: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call​

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