Hi Reader,

A Reddit post caught our attention this week.

Someone spent three months unemployed, got through six interviews, received a verbal offer, and countered on three things: a hybrid schedule, an extra week of vacation, and a 7% salary bump. The company responded by saying they no longer believed he was a fit, and they rescinded the offer.

Here's the full Reddit post:

A lot of people in the comments were furious on his behalf. And honestly, the company's reaction does seem extreme. But when we read the post carefully, a few things stood out that are worth paying attention to. See our takeaways below:

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1. He negotiated before the offer was official

The post describes getting a call where the company went through the offer details. That sounds like a verbal offer, not a written offer letter with his name on it and a signature line. That distinction matters more than most people realize.

A verbal offer isn't a hard commitment. Until the company has put something in writing, it's much less costly for them to walk away, especially if the conversation heads somewhere they didn't expect. The bar for warmth and professionalism in all your communications is especially higher before you reach that written offer stage. More on this here.

2. Tonality matters

He didn't share the exact language he used, which means we can't know for sure what landed badly. He might have relied on some irritator phrases, which are commonly believed to work in negotiations but we’ve seen these backfire more often than not.

If his ask for a 7% increase was framed even slightly as "I deserve this based on my experience," that can read as entitled, even if the underlying request was completely reasonable.

The same ask lands very differently when it's framed with enthusiasm: "I'm thrilled for the possibility of joining the team. I was wondering if there was any flexibility on the base?"

Show excitement first, always. We wrote more here about the importance of showing enthusiasm, and why it can never really hurt you during salary negotiations.

3. Know your priorities and negotiate them in order

He countered on three things at once: schedule flexibility, more vacation, and a higher salary. That's a wide ask. When you front-load a counter with multiple requests, you're spending a ton of negotiation capital in the opening stages when you may not even know what elements of the offer that the company may be more flexible on.

Know which asks matter most to you, and lead with those.

For more on this, see our past article about using your personal priorities to build your negotiation strategy.

4. Other opportunities are your real leverage

He went into this negotiation from a weak position: three months out of work, one offer on the table, nothing else in play. When that's the reality, you might inadvertently push too hard out of desperation because this one offer feels like everything.

The best protection against that is to apply broadly and keep multiple opportunities moving at the same time. Having real alternatives in play carry more weight than any percentage argument or market data point.

Having multiple opportunities will also change how you show up in all your conversations. Your mindset is just as important as your tactics. We wrote more about negotiation mindset here.

CAVEAT: Sometimes a no deal is the right outcome

A company that immediately withdraws an offer in response to a professional, reasonable counter is showing you exactly who they are. If they can't handle a respectful, straightforward conversation about compensation, you may have dodged a bullet. (That's assuming this was handled thoughtfully by the applicant, of course.)

That's cold comfort when you're three months unemployed, but that’s exactly why keeping multiple opportunities in play matters so much. When one basket falls, you don't want all your eggs in it. More on no-deal scenarios here.

See you next week,

Gerta & Alex​
​Founders, YourNegotiations.com

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